Sitting and gently rocking

Sitting and gently rocking.
It is an old rocking chair. It could use some new
paint. Nowadays, it seems smaller. Now, when I am all grown up and mature.
Am I?

Contemplating.
Something is happening.
Feeling the sways, forward, backward, forward, backward …
I don’t want to stop. It puts me in such a pleasant state.

Feeling afraid and excited at the same time.
Something is ending. Something new is beginning.

Change. Transformation.

I don’t want to stay where I am anymore. I have to move forward.
It is time.

And I almost don’t want to go forward.
It is unknown.
It feels scary.
It will be uncomfortable.
I will have to shed what no longer serves me.
I will lose those who are not happy with who I am becoming.
With who I am. Under all these layers of paint, I acquired throughout my life.

And so rocking between the two seems like a perfect solution. Comfortable. For now.

So funny, it is fall. Almost.
The season when the summer is ending and that introspective winter follows. And when the shedding starts.
Nature knows no fear. No attachment.
It lets go. And it allows growing.
It grows.

I know, I know.
I have to go. Get out of the chair and move.
I have to grow. More. So, move forward.

Change is inevitable.
Transformation is uncomfortable.
Movement is my medicine.

So moving it is.
No matter how uncomfortable it gets, I will keep moving.
I will not stop. I will not quit.

I know where I want to be.
(Someone awaits me there. She is patient because she knows I will come.)

It is what it is.
And I am allowing what needs to come, to come.
I will deal with it.
And I know where to ask for support when I need it.

Do you?